The Hit Machine

On Monday, Karina and I half-caught ABC’s Primetime Live, a poor-man’s 60 Minutes, on which there was a segment about Diane Warren, who has written all the top-10 pop songs in the world (or something).

The segment painted her as likeable (if a bit strange), hard-working, and dedicated. Having never met her before, I was predisposed to dislike her because she is the pop-song formula. She’s the one churning out the sap like a maple tree in winter. She knows how to make the young girls cry even better than Barry Manilow. Maybe it was the picture of this stringy haired hippie girl in the 70s that caught me off guard. Maybe it was her claim that, despite all her songs being love songs, she has never been in love. I don’t know, but it’s no longer so easy to hate the pop-song factory.

I still (for the most part) hate the songs though.

PatrickObservations12/03/03 2 comments


Dan • 12/03/03 9:58 PM:

“Warren’s best friend is a parrot called Butt Wings, who lives in a specially designed bird guest room with two other parrots, Gatso and Casper.”

The worst thing about this is that I knew that she had written a lot of those songs. She also wrote at least one Christina Aguilera song (I saw a special on TV by accident, I swear), and “When I See You Smile” by Bad English. I like that song. But then again, I get a kick out of Starship songs, too. But that Aerosmith song from Armageddon is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. Terrible.

I’m now reading her songlist. I’m pissed that she wrote “Blame it on the Rain.” I’m happy that she wrote “By the Time this Night is Over” by Kenny G and Peabo Bryson. That must be a very terrible song. Do you even have to hear it?

Dang! She wrote “Look Away” by Chicago. I used to like that song, in a guilty, band-sold-out sort of way (it came out during my Z100 phase in life).

“Time Love & Tenderness” Ugh. Disgusting. I used to quote that title in emails. It was a joke.

Dad • 12/04/03 11:54 PM:

I’m happy to say that, in a quick perusal of the list, I didn’t see one song that I recognize.

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