Know as Much as Einstein

Though I’ve never seen a Woody Allen movie, I have read one of his columns. From the first paragraph you will realize that by “Einstein” I mean the Rug store on Route 10 that bears that as half its name.

The column has some really good application of scientific terminology that I, and most other people, don’t really think of as odd anymore.

What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore time passes quicker than to a man on a boat—especially if the man on the boat is with his wife. The latest miracle of physics is string theory, which has been heralded as a TOE, or “Theory of Everything”. This may even include the incident of last week herewith described.
I awoke on Friday and because the universe is expanding it took me longer than usual to find my robe. This made me late leaving for work and, because the concept of up and down is relative, the elevator that I got into went to the roof, where it was very difficult to hail a taxi.

Here’s the link to read the rest of Woody’s adventure.

DanFunnies01/19/04 2 comments


Dad • 01/20/04 4:05 PM:

See? If you’re Steve Martin or Woody Allen you can get published in the New Yorker easily. Whereas, if you’re an ordinary guy, you can’t even get a good rejection letter. (I haven’t actually tried, because why should I waste my time when they’re only going to make fun of me?)

OK, here’s my review:

Einstein Moomjy – marginally funny, but only because of “Moomjy.”

Dropping a “Planck length” thing in a dark theatre – not funny. Over used concept.

If gravity were to cease suddenly would certain restaurants still require a jacket? – Huh?

Expanding universe causing me to take longer than usual to find my robe – funny.

Mass increasing around Mr Muchnick – not funny and not good physics.

Not needing Botox after trip around universe – cheap laugh because “botox” is funny word.

Miss Kelly is definitely waves – marginally funny. The rest of the discussion of the physics of Miss Kelly (Bosons et al) is pretty good.

Overall, I think I could do a better job than Woody, but I don’t have the space right now.

David • 01/22/04 11:48 AM:

I agree with Dad. And Dan. It was an interesting article, mildly and sporatically funny at best. It an article, just like many movies, that leaves me feeling let down and uninspired. It could’ve and should’ve been so much more (like all those movies I can’t think of right now). It had a great topic and a decent framework - but it was littered with unfunniness. All over the place. The part about the expanding universe was very good. The rest, not. That being sad, I liked reading it.

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