The MJ of Nerds

Basically, if The Sports Guy says it/writes it, I believe it. This weeks article, The Summer of the Jeopardy Guy is one of his best. The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, who writes for ESPN Page 2 (and the Jimmy Kimmel show), is my favorite writer. He always combines great insight, whit, and hilarity. As you could guess from the article title, and perhaps my entry title (stolen from the article - how great is that, by the way?), this week’s episode is about Ken Jennings - Jeopardy superstar, winner of over a million, the JG. When I was home in NJ with Mom and Dad I was lucky enough to watch this genius and legend work his stuff. Amazing.

So have a read and enjoy. Be ready for some vintage Sports Guy - with quotes like “Temple of Doom-Style” and “The Mormon Assassin”. Sports Guy has truly outdone himself, even finding room for Karate Kid references with, “There hasn’t been a villain this good since Billy Zabka”. Unreal. The article is simply beautiful and I want the whole world (at least you, my kind family) to read it. It ranks up there with the all-time best of Sports Guy. [This one, about the National Spelling Bee, is incredible too. Also, I just found this instant classis, Welcome to The Vengeance Scale.]

DavidFunnies/News/Suggestions07/21/04 4 comments


Dad • 07/22/04 8:53 AM:

The Jeopardy Guy is nerdy, and a little bit mischievous (e.g. his refusal to break, but only tie, the one-day total of 52k$ after Alex kept pestering him about it) but he’s no “Dr. Evil.” And he’s not only a brain, he has reflexes to tap the butten faster than anyone else. I was thinking he would “retire” after winning a million, but that didn’t happen. I don’t see him losing except by a fluke. Even if he decided to “throw” the game to get off the show, I’m not sure he could. I think when the game starts, he simply has to show his stuff. I have never once wanted to punch him in the face.

Dad • 07/22/04 9:45 AM:

Just tried to read the other two articles, but they were just too long. There was good material there, but jeez, too long! The vengence scale was especially difficult to get through. And the 10.0 entry should have had major points off because it was only mentioned after the fact in the movie and could have been mostly hearsay.

David • 07/22/04 4:08 PM:

Too Long? No way, it’s worth it. Trust me.

Okay, I don’t want to punch the JG in the face either, but it’s still kinda funny. I wish I could watch him all the time - but I don’t have TiVo and Jeopardy! is on at some weird time (afternoon?).

The vengeance scale is great - I like the parts about Rocky V not existing. And come on, Keyser Soze has got to be a 10 - hearsay? you say? no way. The truth.

All the ones in the 9’s are excellent, almost perfect. The note at 9.5 on Rocky IV is wonderful - the part about a 55,000 ft mountain - Love it. I do find it hard to differentiate between those scoring 9.4 and above. I mean, William Wallace crushing that dude’s head with a mace? Come on now, and going on to destroy most of Longshank’s army? And what about Uma Thurman in Kill Bill? How is that not a 10? And Maximus? All I know is that there’s a lot of vengeance out there.

Patrick • 11/30/04 10:25 PM:

Wanna read what Ken himself said about the SI article?

I was reading an article in a sports magazine that said I obviously had the personality of a hall monitor, that I was the guy everyone avoided in the office Christmas party. And they said I was punchable! They encouraged physical abuse against my person. I was sort of ticked, you know. This guy doesn’t even know me, he’s just watching me on a game show.

Next time you think you’re so funny, try to consider how other people might feel.

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